It’s easy to say that I’m often happiest living out of some sort of bag. I’ve written on my blog that I am happiest in movement, in flight, in some degree of chaos—traits probably true of many with ADHD. I do weekend trips to the cabin from May through early October without much thought to packing—my asthma (and ADHD!) meds, some clothes, pens and notebooks, iPad and colouring books, the usual stuff. I do that all without much thought, throwing everything into a duffel bag or hiking backpack in a matter of minutes. It’s practically habit.
From the age 13 I was addicted to Diet Coke. But not that addicted, of course. I had “rules”, you see. Truthfully, I drank so much more than I ever admitted to myself.
I limited myself to one can a day — like it was a good thing. Each day I’d buy a can at work with my lunch. Just one, so don’t judge me.
Okay, so I’d have another after lunch if I was working later, but only on the days that really required additional caffeine. The days with the deadlines and the people asking me questions and with the overwhelming amounts of emails.
Each evening I would only drink Diet Coke if my husband and I were at a pub quiz. That was usually on a Tuesday. And sometimes a Thursday.
I am a clutterer. I hate clutter. It is distracting. But it seems to follow me everywhere I go. Clutter is delayed decision-making. Clutter is piles of potential projects and schemes. Clutter is a physical representation of procrastinating undesirable activities.
I got to a point in my life that my clutter was paralyzing me. My house was becoming non-functional as a result: boxes of papers that I needed to "go through and file", but that I never would; dozens of failed organizational systems that, in the moment, I was sure would solve all my problems; half-finished projects; newsletter clippings; magazines that I would recycle as soon as I finished reading them; pictures, notes, recipes, and important legal documents all mushed together.
I finally had an epiphany that stuck.
I cannot manage the volume of paper in my life.